Feeling exhausted, stretched thin, and maybe a little lost in the chaos of motherhood? You’re not alone. You love your kids deeply—but that doesn’t mean you don’t crave a little space to breathe or a reminder that you matter too.
These small but powerful shifts helped me feel like me again for the first time since having babies—and I know they can help you, too.
1. Ditch the mom guilt.
Have you ever finally gotten a little time to yourself, only to feel guilty about it? It completely ruins the moment. So, ditch the mom guilt—not in a self-indulgent, “treat yourself every day” kind of way, but in a way that gently reminds you: you matter too.
We spend so much time taking care of everyone else that it’s easy to forget our own needs, energy, emotions, and desires. But guess what? You’re part of your family, too. When you see yourself as an important member—with needs and wants just like everyone else—it’s so much easier to let go of the guilt. Taking care of yourself isn’t taking away from your family—it’s investing in them.
2. Calm your body before you calm your kids.
Having little kids feels like running a circus some days! Maybe it’s just me (I’ve got two boys), but my house is basically a tornado in motion. One kid’s running around naked, the other’s racing toward the garage (aka my husband’s home office—where he’s on business calls). While I’m wrangling one, the other is emptying every drawer in his room. It’s chaos. And I can literally feel my cortisol rising.
When that stress hits, I have the potential to get flustered and react in ways I regret. I’ve learned that I need to pause and help myself return to my natural state. Sometimes that means turning on a show for the kids, sending them outside, or giving them a time-out (when they’re actually being naughty). And then—I breathe.
Deep breathing might sound too simple, but it physically tells your body to calm down. I breathe in for four counts and out for eight, like I’m blowing through a straw. It’s been a total game changer.
3. Wake up before your kids.
I never understood how precious silence was until I became a mom. In order to find my footing for the day, I have to wake up before my kids. On days I don’t, I feel totally off balance.
Waking up early gives me a pocket of peace before the chaos and space to just be. I can breathe, think through the day, and take a few minutes for myself—usually with a devotional or just some quiet. It’s not a luxury. It’s a need.
4. Weekly alone time = survival.
My husband and I have a system: we each get two hours of alone time every week. We trade off watching the kids. He usually takes Sundays, and I get my “Two-Hour Tuesdays.” And let me tell you—I live for them.
Sometimes I rest, sometimes I wander Target with a drink in hand, and sometimes I do absolutely nothing. I expect nothing from myself during that window, and it’s the best guilty pleasure there is (minus the guilt).
5. I prioritize my physical health—even when it feels selfish.
Motherhood is absolutely exhausting—it takes a real toll on your body. That’s why sleep, nourishing food, and movement aren’t optional for me—they’re essential. (Okay, sleep is more of a dream during the baby phase—but you get it.)
I try to eat well and move my body regularly—usually with a good run. Sure, these things take time and energy that could go to my family, but here’s the truth: they fuel me. When I feel strong and energized, I show up as a better mom, wife, and human.
Taking care of my body isn’t selfish—it’s one of the most loving things I can do for the people I love. And beyond that? It’s an investment in my future. I want to be healthy, present, and active for years to come. My family deserves the best version of me—not just today, but long-term.
6. Ask for what you need.
I used to think I had to hold it all together. Now I know—sometimes love looks like saying, “Can you handle this one?”
We usually have my husband’s family over for dinner every Thursday. I typically cook the main dish (which I actually enjoy, since I eat mostly plant-based), and his parents bring a side. But last week? Life had just been a lot. I hadn’t grocery shopped and didn’t want to blow our budget on takeout.
So, I simply asked if they could bring the whole meal—and guess what? They were totally happy to.
Letting go of those unspoken obligations can be so freeing.
There you have it—my six go-to self-care strategies that help me beat burnout and reconnect with who I am beyond “mom.” I hope they remind you that you’re worth taking care of, too.
Need a little “me time” idea to start with? I recently learned how to turn $20 worth of Trader Joe’s flowers into a beautiful kitchen arrangement. I share the step-by-step here.
